Sexual Harassment/Assault: Let's Get Serious For A Moment
- pereka
- Jun 5, 2020
- 5 min read
Look, I know this is not what you expected during this pandemic. I'm sure you don't want to read about such a sensitive topic, but I figured it's important to have a small reminder about how we act and behave with each other. So this will be a small sum up on what sexual harassment is, examples, what do we do about it, the laws that protect us from it, and a conclusion.
So, you may have heard this before, sexual harassment is unwelcome sexual behavior that's offensive, humiliating, or intimidating. It can be verbal, written, or physical, and this is important, it can be towards women or men! So I'm not just talking about how women are the victims and so on, but there are also abusive women towards men, but because the cases that come up usually involves women being the victim it sounds a bit unbelievable that women can do such a thing, but it happens.
Now that the meaning is clear a few examples might complete your understanding of this. I am going to type a few examples from www.reachout.com :
making comments towards you that have any inappropriate sexual meaning
displaying rude and offensive material so that you or others can see it
cracking sexual jokes and comments around or to you
making sexual gestures or suggestive body movements towards you
asking you for sex or sexual favors
So what is sexual assault? Sexual assault is a bit different than harassment, it involves offenders asserting power and/or control over other people. The few examples are rape and child sexual abuse. These actions are a serious crime and are NEVER the survivor's fault.
You might not realize you've done this before, or maybe you've been the victim and don't know it yet. I have had some experiences of being sexually harassed, but I didn't realize it. Back then I thought it was just a joke or for the fun of the situation. There are a lot of women who have faced this in public places that are not taken seriously (like Indonesia) but refuse to report, because they think it's a common thing. IT'S SHOULDN'T BE A COMMON THING. Our 'okayness' about it just shows how ignorant people actually are about this issue.
I regretted to this day that I didn't make confrontation and frankly, it was a waste of my time and energy to be seen cool about it. It is not something cool, it is an uncomfortable situation involving my bad judgment, and I never thought that I can do better. But I can, and you certainly can find a better relationship whether it's friendship or loved ones. Stepping outside of that bubble and try to become a better person is not easy, the need for acceptance in society is already inside of us since the dawn of time, whether it's a small or huge amount of effort. But if it involves actions or words that make you uncomfortable, it's not worth the fight.
Okay, enough about my rant, here's what I think helps for handling sexual harassment/assault:
Prevention :
It would help if you learn a thing or two about self defense. I have seen women join Muaythai in a lot in fitness centres. If it's too much for you, there are a lot of videos on the internet that shows you basic moves on how to deal with offenders, at least time-stalling actions so you can run away as fast as possible.
Okay, that's for the creepy strangers. If it's a working environment or school or your casual everyday hangout, be more confident. Confidence and intimidating are two different things. One can be confident when there are enough knowledge and how-tos to get you by, that's why it's important to know this stuff because you're confident about how to dealing with it if it happens to you. Let them know that you mean business and that people should think twice about their actions.
Handling :
Institutions (school or workplace)/Family member :
When you are faced with sexual harassment, you must first confront them. Now this might not be comfortable for you, but you have to do it. Even if it's just a friend or even a family member. Tell them it is not okay for them to do what they did and there will be consequences in the future if they ever do it again to you or others. A lot of people don't know that they are doing such actions, so it's okay to give them just a fair warning, especially if they are your loved ones. You want whats best for them and a loving and supportive approach is not a wrong way to go.
If they do it for the second time, report them. Report to your superior or human resources, if it helps tell one of your family members or someone that you trust. Other than being brave on dealing with this, sharing these things can give you support and even help to report it. For a lot of business places, I am sure they have some sort of procedure for this, you have to look into each of your own workplaces. As for schools, students especially teenagers are still afraid to report to teachers because of society's acceptance and such, it becomes gossip and the urge to find out who blurted out or confessed. You have to find it in yourself to not care about those opinions, because when you have the opportunity to just a situation, do it, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Usually the students that have done it is given a warning from the school or told to sign a written agreement to never do it again in school and -hopefully enough to make them realize- in life.
If they are still doing it outside of your workplace/school, report it to the nearest police station (sector police = POLSEK), have a friend by your side to help you make an official report. For the ones in school, have your parents with you as you make your report. If it's not being taken seriously (which still happens here in Indonesia) take your case to the regional police (POLDA). If they're still not taking it seriously, report the police's unwillingness to sort out your case to the Professional and Security Division (Divisi Profesi dan Pengamanan = PROPAM).
I am sure for a lot of sane people, they would already stop and apologize in step 2, if they are more considerate and understanding they would end it when you warned them. But there's a lot of cases where women in Indonesia don't know what to do in the middle of that kind of situation. And when they do know what to do, their reports are not considered something to investigate any further. It's a shame that is what our society has to deal with, hence women feeling unsafe going and about their lives especially at night. Which why I have a final solution that is to report to the National Women's Commission (Komnas Perempuan) which I will link down below :
For women in Indonesia, there's complete information and a form where we can have a wider understanding on the procedure.
Picture via The Economic Times
Public place : If it's a creep on the street, document them. Take a photo, video for proof, or scream or tell on someone on the street so you'll have a witness. And then report it to the nearest police station, make sure someone is with you as you report it. You can continue the same procedure from step 3 and so on.
I hope you find this helpful and somewhat informative.
-r.k
Comments